Monday, February 14, 2011

Valentines Day, Our Way

Tonight we celebrated Valentines Day as a family.
All of our babysitters are in relationships now,
so we opted to go out to dinner tomorrow
so they could enjoy themselves tonight!

So, Autumn and I created the "Henderson Diner"
 complete with a menu and everything!

We had chocolate fondue with fruit as an appetizer.
Coke, daddy's favorite as our beverage.
Heart shaped pizza as the main course.
And cupcakes as dessert.

We've never really done a family Valentines.
I think we'll start a new tradition of a family night
and then a mommy/daddy night.

Nothing wrong with sharin the love, right!?


Today is one of those days 
I want to shut the blinds. 
Curl up in my bed. 
Put the covers over my head. 
And check out for the day. 

Today was due date for the 3rd Henderson 
baby to make his/her entrance. 

We proudly displayed this last June. 

And after telling our children, family and church, 
things started happening and we knew 
we were losing the baby. 

It was a hard week around our home. 
Not many words were spoken. 
Lots of tears were shed. 
Questions from a 9 year old were posed, 
that I had no answer to. 

The following few months came 
with good days and bad days. 
And the past few have been much easier. 
Until today came. 

I thought I'd be okay. 
I've been preparing for this.
But when my eyes opened this morning, 
my heart was heavy. 
My breaths were harder to take. 
And my insides have a void. 

I am thankful that tomorrow is a new day. 
I am promised to be made new. 
I am promised that His mercies are new every day. 
I really am okay. 

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

If I'm Being Honest

I met my parents in Destin today to let our 
daughter spend a couple days with them.
She was excited. 
They were excited. 
Heck, I was excited!

On my way home, I had to stop by Panama City Beach to do an insurance inspection. 
Everyone knows I'm not good with directions. 
So, I missed my turn onto the road where the inspection was. 
I was a little ticked upset at myself. 
You see, they're doing construction on the beach right now, so it's an act of Congress to turn around. It took me literally 10 minutes just to find a place to turn around and then make it back to the road I needed. 

When I finally reached the road I needed, I saw police lights flashing. 
I thought they were doing a license "check point" and my first thoughts weren't nice since I'd already put myself behind schedule for the day.  This is just what I needed.

As I approached the flashing lights I told the trooper that I was going into the subdivision at the end of the road for an inspection. He told me to drive through the police cars and go ahead slowly. 

Weird. That was too easy. 
As I slowly drove past the four police cars with flashing lights, I saw a motorcycle laying on the ground. Then I noticed the huge tree right beside the motorcycle. 
And as I passed the police car by the tree, the white sheet caught my eye. I won't go into details, but it was like a scene out of a movie. 

My breath left my body and I immediately started praying for that mans family. And then I thanked God that my 9 year old was not in the truck with me today. 

After calling to check on my husband, calling to check on my daughter and pulling over to compose myself a few times .... I had a talk with my truck walls. 

If I'm being honest, I just don't understand. 

I don't understand how my cousin, Angel, could lose her dad to cancer last year, when she was only 30.
I don't understand how my cousin, Jenn, could lose her baby girl, Makenna, days before her due date.
I don't understand how my friend Susan lost her husband to cancer last year when he had two girls still in elementary school.  
I don't understand how a man driving a motorcycle could take a slight turn, lose control, and his life is ended instantly.
I don't understand how a young Navarre high school senior, full of promise, lost his battle with cancer this week.
I don't understand how my friend Tracy lost her baby girl, Kristin, during her delivery.
I don't understand why our dear friends grandmother, Granny Lee, suffered so long before she passed away this week.
I don't understand why some of our friends struggle to have children and then when they do, their celebration is shortly met with defeat.
I don't understand how a precious child like Kate Mcrae has suffered with tumors on her brain for almost two years. 

Most days I can rationally and spiritually 
explain to you why these things might happen. 
Most days I grasp the fact that death is a part of life. 
Most days. 
But not today. 

If I'm being honest.
Today I'm struggling.